Stress- (Since the beginning of time-now; will never die completely, just die with each person eventually). Stress went up to be with the Lord yesterday. It will not be missed however. Stress was everywhere and loved to annoy the people it was around. Everyone hated it. It passed away yesterday afternoon when it’s master retired from work, propped up his feet on the sofa, breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled. Stress was a member of Divorce Rate Increase, the Nervous Breakdown Club, and Psychological Disorders Anonymous, among other things. It was preceded in death by hatred, despair, cynicism, and bitterness. Funeral services will take place at Things We Don’t Want But Have Mortuary Friday afternoon at 2:00.